essay is far longer than the 4 to 5 paragraphs it needed to be. fix this by getting rid of the extra paragraphs and follow the directions . need to make sure your body paragraphs are following through on supporting your thesis. Instead, you are just talking in general about computer science, not why it is good for you. Furthermore, you use outside sources in your essay, when I said not to do so. You need to take out all of the outside sources in this essay because you don’t cite them correctly. We have not learned how to do that yet. I have attached is what should be corrected so far. essay too long
Thesis: Computer science is the ideal career choice for me because I’ve always been interested in how computers work and I enjoy logical thinking, problem solving and math. Your introduction and conclusion paragraph should each be at least 5 sentences. Make sure you use great organizational pattern. Paragraphs should include the following: Proper punctuation, A proper flow, It should make sense, No run-ons, Orderly paragraphs, A hook, Good sentence structure. Transition words, Organization, Interesting content—Relevant content—be on topic. Transition words Organization Interesting content—Relevant content—be on topic no citations
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